Monday, November 17, 2008
These pictures are for Cindy
I am a lucky girl. I suppose one of these days I'm going to refer to myself as a woman, since I am a few months short of thirty now, but for now, "girl" will fit.
But I am lucky. I have an amazing family and I thrived as a young person in affection and support.
I live three hours away from them now, and sometimes I am overcome with homesickness, for the actual them, not internet and telephone them, but flesh and blood family.
Just to see my Mother laugh, especially when I provoke that laugh, to share the same with Cindy and Susan as we pick on my Dad, to hang with T and all of the grandparents, sitting on the sofa with Dad, reading, watching television -- that is what I miss.
The holidays are soon and I will travel to see them.
When I was a teenager, I remember being depressed when and my pals and I had plans but I couldn't go out. It would be a Friday night when everyone else would be on the town, and I felt so sad, in that teenager kind of way, because I felt I would miss out on something. Something would happen out there without me. I actually ached.
Now I feel that way about them. About all of them. Football Saturdays, thrift store visits, meals, holidays, everything. I ache with knowing I'm missing out.
I don't know where this came from, but I never post things like this. I thought I would. I thought I would send one big THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU out to them.