Asinine Thoughts on the Oscars

image via NY Daily News






I made sure to sit down last night and torture Judge with watching every second of the Oscars. I love the pretty lights, the botoxed faces, and analyzing the dresses. He was a good sport, considering he works at 5:30am, we normally go to bed about 8:30 and this awards show lasted till 11:00. Here are a few thoughts I wanted to share about the entire fiesta:

1. George Clooney seemed upset. I like his cute, classic Hollywood face, but seeing him all irritated for whatever reason made me miffed. Get over it George. Sourpuss is never a good look on anyone. I should know. (Have you seen me irritated?)

2. I adore Sandra Bullock. The fact that she won totally delighted me. I don't care how many lame romantic comedies she's been in, the woman is just down home and sparkly at the same time.

3. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were ok. I have had a crush on Steve Martin since I was five and listened to my mother's record of his standup. I listened to it recently and wanted to call and ask my mother, "Why was I allowed to listen to this record and why did I like it?" It is totally inappropriate for a young child and I certainly didn't understand it at the time. I think I just liked the King Tut song. But about the hosting duties - a few of their jokes were good, zingers really, but I think they came off as Vaudeville guys in a modern world. Still, Steve, you can come and have tea with me anytime.

4. I thought the set was GORGEOUS. The tinsle-y looking stuff that hung in the front of the stage and captured and danced with the light was mesmerizing and so appropriate for a showbiz shindig. Also, the various rotating backdrops were also great. I loved the one that was a wall made of lamps. I seriously want that person to come design my house. Please. And then bring Steve Martin to entertain me.

5. The gowns were boring. Except for Sandra Bullock's shiny silver number. I even just went through red carpet photos to affirm my above statement. It still stands.

6. Demi Moore: Eat. A. Sandwich.

7. Meryl Streep: Yes, we all know you are the "greatest actress of all time" according to yer pals. But you irritate me. Can we just call it a day on the love fest slobbered all over her? Gimme a break, dudes. Can the next Meryl Streep just be Kate Winslet? She's way cooler anyway.

8. I wanted Woody Harrelson to win. He rules.

9. Giving all the awards to one movie stinks. I think at shows like this they should spread the wealth. I think it's great that the Hurt Locker was directed by a woman and was a smaller budget piece than the rest, but I get tired of seeing the same people up there over and over again. I know, I know, I haven't even seen it. I'm just talking about the sheer drama of the awards show moment.

10. Overall, I thought the entire show was a bit slow. The John Hughes tribute: amazing. The horror tribute: eh. I had a few people I was rooting for, which normally I don't care, so that added to my enjoyment. The grade for last night's Oscar celebration: I give them a B minus. Better than it had been in a while, but still lacking that certain, I don't know, Audrey-Hepburn-happens-to-be-in-the-audience or something.

Cheers!